Conversations...Always Crucial

Though I have not read it all, one of my favorite books, at least in theory, :-) is Crucial Conversations (:Tools for Talking When Stakes are High) by Kerry Patterson, et. al.  In it, they talk about the power of having honest conversations in high-stakes situations, without alienating the participating members and in a way that gets results.  A tricky thing to do, without a doubt.  Most of us have not even considered that this is possible, let alone having been trained in it.   But I believe that these crucial conversations are key to the ability of adults in schools, to effect change for children.  More on this later.  But I wanted to share a piece that occurred to me in the past few days: two powerful language stems that could help people to work better together.

"I believe that you believe..."

What if we were able to get inside of the unspoken assumptions we have about how other people see the world? The way we talk to ourselves about what another person is doing has everything to do with what we believe that they believe.  What if we just put these things on the table?

My Style

Once people use tools like Strengths Finder and Myers Briggs to identify their differences in style, then what? I have seen many people who stop there, declaring that "This is just the way I am," or content to forever be a slave to their style. But what if we said these powerful words?

"These are the elements of my style and personality that I am willing to sacrifice or examine for the greater good..."

Wow! Can you imagine?  I'll leave you with that food for thought, for now.  But I'll keep sharing as dialogue stems come up that can help you, and me, in these very tough scenarios we all face...