10 Things That Micro-managed People Think But Don't Say (In No Particular Order)

I had the fortunate-but-unfortunate experience of meeting up with some former co-workers this weekend from my old school.  It was great to connect with them again…but it was unfortunate because we were at the funeral of one of our comrades. ☹ It was also sad because those still at the building expressed frustration that the current administrator is “worse,” in their estimation, than a previous administrator whose ways had sent staff scrambling to escape her environment.  When I inquired about what felt so bad about this administration, one answer was that she micromanages every decision and detail.  I thought to write this post because I have both observed and experienced the crippling touch of a micro-manager…and if I'm honest, at times I’ve been one! ☹ But I’ve gained some learning along the way, and it is what inspires this post.

10 Things That Micro-managed People Think But Don't Say:

1.     We see that you have a heart for excellence.

You want things done well, you want the final product attached to your name to exude class and elegance.  This is a strength.

2.     Micromanaging is a symptom of fear.

Please don’t be crippled by fear anymore! Fear that someone will think you incompetent; fear that your staff will be judged as the same; fear that you’ll be lowly thought of for selecting staff that could possibly do a poor job.  It is a prison! Because you are living in it, we are in it with you.

3.      There is zero enjoyment in our work when we are waiting for you to pick every project and offering apart. 

Being under this kind of scrutiny causes us to second-guess our very sense of self-efficacy…the strength that caused us to land this job in the first place!  But when we know that you will find a reason to either disagree with or veto every decision, it makes us not want to make any decisions.  None.

4.       Once your workforce wants to make no decisions, they have abdicated responsibility for their work and given it all to you.  That’s a heavy load to bear.

Once you express that you believe only you are capable of good decisions, it makes your staff want to watch you try to make every decision.  They know that no one can do it alone, but you don’t seem to—so even if they did not begin this way, they become people who quietly wait for your projects to fail because their contribution is needed--maybe even required--but not valued.  They may even feel a great deal of conflict around this.  Can somebody say cognitive dissonance?

5.      Once #4 above happens, your workforce has no reason to have ownership over their work. Or pride in it.  They become empty shells doing a robotic dance until the day is done. 

 It’s not that we didn’t want to do a good job—but we got tired of you expressing (directly or subtly) that you didn’t think we could…and it made us not want to try. 

6.       It’s really important to consider the source of your micromanaging. 

Is it just the way you’ve always flowed? Are you replicating a pattern that is thrust on you by higher leadership? Consider your industry.  Is it known for giving people little room to breathe and extending trust only rarely?  If so, you are a critical gatekeeper.  You can either make your work site the exception to this rule (and prove through employee engagement that it doesn’t have to be this way), or adjust your practices to better reflect the autonomy and creativity employees experience under supervisors without your style.

7.      A strengths assessment can change the game!

Have you been overlooking some important contributions that your staff could be making? Are you realizing it in retrospect, perhaps after struggling to get people to give their best? Find a favorite strengths assessment and poll away! Get some vital data on how you can better use your work force.  In particular, find ways to tap into strengths that people tuck away and leave at the door when they come to work because they’ve found no place to put them or because you haven’t had eyes to see that the strengths even exist.

8.       You have the power, through humility, to turn this around. 

The elephant is already sitting comfortably in the room.  (In fact, he’s in a reclining easy chair hogging the TV from the rest of us, eating popcorn.)  Calling this what it is, apologizing and committing to dial back from micromanaging is an incredibly brave and transparent thing to do...and people will respect you for it.

9.     Should you decide to address the matter, having clear examples of places you’ve learned from will help.

You will demonstrate a marvelous capacity for reflective introspection if you can say specifically what you’ve learned in hindsight about how to use their strengths better. For example: “The time when we were working on deciding our parent engagement activity for May, you all tried to tell me X, and I insisted on Y. What I should have done was…”

10.   It may take a while for your staff to trust the new you.  Give them grace.

This is just a human thing.  Over time, your consistent commitment to change will maintain their respect and powerfully model for your staff a growth mindset.

This is another one of those crucial conversations that is difficult, but has powerful potential! Let’s have the courage to do the work so that we can live our best lives daily and model the same for those we serve!

Love & light,