10 Things That Micro-managed People Think But Don't Say (In No Particular Order)

I had the fortunate-but-unfortunate experience of meeting up with some former co-workers this weekend from my old school.  It was great to connect with them again…but it was unfortunate because we were at the funeral of one of our comrades. ☹ It was also sad because those still at the building expressed frustration that the current administrator is “worse,” in their estimation, than a previous administrator whose ways had sent staff scrambling to escape her environment.  When I inquired about what felt so bad about this administration, one answer was that she micromanages every decision and detail.  I thought to write this post because I have both observed and experienced the crippling touch of a micro-manager…and if I'm honest, at times I’ve been one! ☹ But I’ve gained some learning along the way, and it is what inspires this post.

10 Things That Micro-managed People Think But Don't Say:

1.     We see that you have a heart for excellence.

You want things done well, you want the final product attached to your name to exude class and elegance.  This is a strength.

2.     Micromanaging is a symptom of fear.

Please don’t be crippled by fear anymore! Fear that someone will think you incompetent; fear that your staff will be judged as the same; fear that you’ll be lowly thought of for selecting staff that could possibly do a poor job.  It is a prison! Because you are living in it, we are in it with you.

3.      There is zero enjoyment in our work when we are waiting for you to pick every project and offering apart. 

Being under this kind of scrutiny causes us to second-guess our very sense of self-efficacy…the strength that caused us to land this job in the first place!  But when we know that you will find a reason to either disagree with or veto every decision, it makes us not want to make any decisions.  None.

4.       Once your workforce wants to make no decisions, they have abdicated responsibility for their work and given it all to you.  That’s a heavy load to bear.

Once you express that you believe only you are capable of good decisions, it makes your staff want to watch you try to make every decision.  They know that no one can do it alone, but you don’t seem to—so even if they did not begin this way, they become people who quietly wait for your projects to fail because their contribution is needed--maybe even required--but not valued.  They may even feel a great deal of conflict around this.  Can somebody say cognitive dissonance?

5.      Once #4 above happens, your workforce has no reason to have ownership over their work. Or pride in it.  They become empty shells doing a robotic dance until the day is done. 

 It’s not that we didn’t want to do a good job—but we got tired of you expressing (directly or subtly) that you didn’t think we could…and it made us not want to try. 

6.       It’s really important to consider the source of your micromanaging. 

Is it just the way you’ve always flowed? Are you replicating a pattern that is thrust on you by higher leadership? Consider your industry.  Is it known for giving people little room to breathe and extending trust only rarely?  If so, you are a critical gatekeeper.  You can either make your work site the exception to this rule (and prove through employee engagement that it doesn’t have to be this way), or adjust your practices to better reflect the autonomy and creativity employees experience under supervisors without your style.

7.      A strengths assessment can change the game!

Have you been overlooking some important contributions that your staff could be making? Are you realizing it in retrospect, perhaps after struggling to get people to give their best? Find a favorite strengths assessment and poll away! Get some vital data on how you can better use your work force.  In particular, find ways to tap into strengths that people tuck away and leave at the door when they come to work because they’ve found no place to put them or because you haven’t had eyes to see that the strengths even exist.

8.       You have the power, through humility, to turn this around. 

The elephant is already sitting comfortably in the room.  (In fact, he’s in a reclining easy chair hogging the TV from the rest of us, eating popcorn.)  Calling this what it is, apologizing and committing to dial back from micromanaging is an incredibly brave and transparent thing to do...and people will respect you for it.

9.     Should you decide to address the matter, having clear examples of places you’ve learned from will help.

You will demonstrate a marvelous capacity for reflective introspection if you can say specifically what you’ve learned in hindsight about how to use their strengths better. For example: “The time when we were working on deciding our parent engagement activity for May, you all tried to tell me X, and I insisted on Y. What I should have done was…”

10.   It may take a while for your staff to trust the new you.  Give them grace.

This is just a human thing.  Over time, your consistent commitment to change will maintain their respect and powerfully model for your staff a growth mindset.

This is another one of those crucial conversations that is difficult, but has powerful potential! Let’s have the courage to do the work so that we can live our best lives daily and model the same for those we serve!

Love & light,

10 Reasons Why Cooking With Kids Matters...And Impacts Literacy

I’ve been cooking with my littles, friends, and a few non-earth-shattering, but amazing-to-me, realities have emerged.  I will admit that in times past, I’ve only wanted their participation in little ways--because, well, it takes longer and gets messier when Pre-Ks are in the kitchen! But I declare, I have been realizing the POWER of this experience in shaping these little minds!

So these are my random thoughts on just TEN ways that cooking can impact learning and literacy (These are in no particular order):

• Vocabulary--What is “sifting”? Why do you call that a funnel, Mommy?”

• Elapsed time and patience become your trusted friends

• Reinforcing the knowledge that life is about process

• Real-life literacy opportunities like interactive writing (we see this recipe and like it; let’s write the ingredients in a list we can take to the store!)

• Close reading--Does the recipe say “Simmer, covered, for 20 minutes,” or “Simmer for 20 minutes; cover”? It makes a difference.

• Hands-on connection between cause and effect with clear criteria--does it taste right? How do we know?

• If phonological awareness is being able to hear, “feel”, what words do and how the parts go together, what is the mathematical equivalent?  Whatever that’s called, that’s what the math of cooking helps kids to get.   Also related to math, I know that the ability to estimate, to conceptualize amounts related to each other, is a powerful indicator of math ability.  Kids who cook get good at this! Don’t you think it’s possible that our cooking kids can learn the power of a “pinch of this or that”?

• A healthy respect for the power of useful but dangerous things--fire, knives, etc.--and a knowledge of how to stay safe around them

• Relationship-building--Burger King may pass us sandwiches and onion rings through a window, but no packaged product can seal our hearts with our families and create lifelong memories!

• People who know how to feed themselves live out self-sufficiency in powerful ways.  They may even be motivated to grow their own food later.  Creating something from nothing sparks a HUNGER for building our own creative capacity!

And there you have it, friends.  Ten good reasons to cook with the children in your life, or at the very least, to think about how to incorporate what our students may know from the kitchen into the life of the classroom.  Happy creating!

Love and light,

Every Month a Milestone

Teachers Like Me

I've come the conclusion that teachers are probably some of the most taxed, stretched and pulled people on the planet.  For real.  We give, pour out, cover, protect, teach, evaluate, explain, mediate, and share.  And then many of us go home and do even more of that as caregivers to husbands, children, parents...with little room left for ourselves. I realized just this weekend that a powerful model for me is going to be a consistent goal-setting for life goals I have outside of education.  It's a given that I am eating, sleeping and breathing some of the important goals I want to accomplish in my job.   But I am not always as intentional about making sure my personal needs and goals get met.  But this, friends, is a self-care issue, and one I am now excited to say I am addressing.   So, I've decided that my theme for the rest of this school year is "BLOOM."  I'm going to bloom despite any challenges--any dung, if you will--surrounding me, and I'll take that dung and use it to help me grow.  From now until the end of the school year I will have a milestone goal I'm focused on just for me, and here are some examples:

• February: Give a TEDx talk through my alma mater (just found out today I've been invited to share my idea with the committee! Woo hoo!)
• March: Publish my first picture book
• April: Publish my first book for adults
• May: Be able to play my school's song on the guitar (a goal I'm pursuing in front of students)

These are just some examples, but they illustrate how valuable it is and will be to have things I'm pushing for in my personal life, to add balance to the press that professional life can be.  Hope this can inspire someone else to do some of the same!  

Cheers,

Crucial Conversations

I have been fascinated by the idea that you can learn to have hard conversations well, for years.  My father, an H.R. guy, first introduced me to Crucial Conversations, and I have been a fan ever since.  I confess that I have not ever finished the whole book or audio book (which I need to do soon)...but the pieces and principles I've picked up are enough to make me slightly dangerous. :-)  I am THRILLED that I will be taking the Influencer training through the Vital Smarts organization (makers of Crucial Conversations) this week...but meanwhile, they are also offering this online training that I think can help me get a good start. I've literally been saying for years that teachers are trained in curriculum, differentiation, assessment, and even trauma--but never in effective communication on behalf of children and in concert with stakeholders.  Teaching is a fabulous world! There are aha moments, breakthroughs, community-building, learning and innovation, self-esteem building and collective victories to revel in.  But there are also challenges-- lots of self-interest, teacher conflict, adult self-preservation, parent denial, lawmaker cluelessness and student apathy to wade through! I want to know to wade through the hard stuff in respect, partnership and camaradeire.  I want to know how to do it well.  I'm convinced that Crucial Conversations can help!

https://vitalsmartsausnz.lpages.co/education-webinar-october2017/

This is Probably the Shortest Blog Post Ever, But...

I just have to share this...I subscribed to a stock photo membership, and did a search for pictures featuring "teachers collaborating."  Also tried "teachers meeting."  What I found was fascinating!  The only pictures I found were the ones below. Notice that they didn't even have a frame of reference or an image for this idea! What do you notice about the pictures they did offer?

Fire Starters

So, a friend recommended that I check out an online community of entrepreneurs, and as a budding teacherpreneur I figured I'd better listen.  Decided to join, and  last week they had a fascinating thread going where someone asked for names of members' favorite entrepreneurship influencers.  I was pleased to see that some of the people I've started following were on the list--but so were many more whose names I'd never heard!  I'm sharing their list here because I suspect there are readers of this blog who may be having the itch to do more and expand their territory, as well, but may not be aware of all this inspiring work out there.  I am excited to be able to explore these names...and would love to know from you--are any of these your favorites, too? 

An Inexhaustive List of Influencers We May Need to Know

• Seth Godin
• Jill Stanton
• Ryan Holiday
• Ramit Sethi
• Bushra Azhar
• Kerwin Rae
• Gary Vaynerchuck
• Pat Flynn
• Patrick bet David
• Amy Portferfield
• Grant Cardone
• Melissa Pharr
• Daymond John
• Lori Greiner
• Chalene Johnson
• Nicole Walkters
• Ryan Blair
• Marie Forleo
• Simon Sinek
• Noah Kagan
• Neil Patel
• Courtney Foster-Donahue
• Melyssa Griffin 

*Please note: I have not vetted each of these names and cannot speak for all of them.  Some, I can.  But in case anyone's content is out there, just know that they're not being endorsed here, just listed. :-) 

...I'll Be Your Best Friend!

The Cost of Friendship?

Almost daily in my home life, I hear a negotiation going on between the preschoolers I'm privileged to parent.  It sounds something like this: "If you give me that (or go with me, or let me go first), I'll be your best friend!" Even beyond the sing-song-y, self-serving feel behind this refrain, something jumps out at me.  I see a metaphor.  

Schoolhouse Talk

I fear that in education, our unspoken social code will ruin us if we don't address it. The code goes like this: "If I like you, and we've got relationship, it's impolite, gauche, even, to push your thinking regarding the work you do for children."  "Really?" some would say? Really.  It's no different from a good old boy or crony network in any other field.  When we build collegial relationships with colleagues, in many camps it is quietly expected that being "for" our colleagues includes never broaching hard subjects about things like:

• how they treat students
• work ethic/mutual accountability for the work
• keeping promises & carrying weight for the team

...and all manner of matters that humans  in working relationships work through. 

I want to submit to you, friends, we, almost more than other people, should give ourselves a different standard.  Make it our expectation and culture that we'll be courageous enough to have these conversations, respectfully.  The life outcomes of children are at stake.  It's not about adult comfort--it's about us constantly being in a state of improvement for our own sake and theirs. 

Continuous Improvement

In Japan, the business model of kaizen, or continual improvement, was what allowed the nation to develop cars and technology so excellent that they excelled right on past American businesses that settled in their comfort zones and rested on their pre-war laurels.  What if American education had adopted a continuous improvement stance 30 years ago? Where would we be today?

The book Influencer: The Power to Change Anything tells of the drastic drops in hospital deaths which occurred in spaces where staff members were trained to have hard conversations.  Prior to the training, staff would see doctors treat patients without washing their hands, for example, but be afraid to speak up.  The culture of complicity was causing them not to say things that could literally save patients' lives.  But the knowledge they lacked--and what their more powerful colleagues knew but ignored--was hurting someone. Once they learned that liking and respecting colleagues was not mutually exclusive with holding them accountable, things changed.  THIS is what I think education can do!  And it starts with creating our own language.  Stay tuned, because this is on my constant radar, and of course I will share as I hear more and more some of what that language should be...

Love & light,